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I’m Fine I’m Just Writing – thoughts from quarantine

I’m Fine I’m Just Writing – thoughts from quarantine

this virus turned the lights out on my thoughts. some people are more equipped to die than they are to live. (there are scarier things than dying, like living a life like this) i have never been afraid of death. i have a list of…

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SEX(ED)

SEX(ED)

I do not believe in monogamy, even though I, myself, have never been non-monogamous. I see the men I am attracted to as intellectual equals first and possible sexual partners second. I have never desired two people at one time. And yet, I maintain that…

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Depression

Depression

(I wrote this as an answer to an anonymous tumblr question which asked, “Have you ever dealt with depression?“) Yes. As a teenager, I told my mom I wanted to kill myself so often that she sent campus security to each of my classes to have…

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Three, Twenty, Nineteen

Three, Twenty, Nineteen

It’s wild how easy it’s been and how free I’ve felt. I experienced all the terrible feelings one can feel during the relationship, over and over and over again, from the beginning up until the end; now I feel relief. He used to hate allowing…

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Three, Twelve, Nineteen

Three, Twelve, Nineteen

I left as soon as I found out and everything has been so lovely since A surplus of friends, I’ve had to reinstate mid-day naps I feel peace and love, all around me Today I walked home from an audition, that felt so nice One…

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Today

Today

When I’m not writing I think about the things I want to remember, by writing them, but when I’m writing, I can’t remember the things I didn’t want to forget.     I have grown to hate writing because it doesn’t “give me anything” because…

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(Career) (Change)

(Career) (Change)

When I left teaching, I supported myself with my retirement money, but didn’t save and didn’t plan well for what to do when it was gone. It was the first time I had ever had MONEY and NO RESPONSIBILITIES. I learned who I was and…

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BEAUTY FROM JANUARY

BEAUTY FROM JANUARY

<books> How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barret People feel depressed when they fall short of their own ideals, but when they fall short of a standard set by others, they feel anxious. Even when you feel no sense of agency when experiencing emotion,…

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In Honor of Orlando

In Honor of Orlando

(June 16th, 2012, thoughts following the tragedy) I’m fragile today, as all of us are. I’ve thought a lot about the victims and the people they loved and the people who loved them and how this is effecting the entire LGBT community as well as…

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Six Books That Silenced The Internal Screaming, For Me

Six Books That Silenced The Internal Screaming, For Me

I disagree with 9 out of 10 of the life-lessons I was taught in my formative years. I was raised in a fundamental, biblical literalist, born-again Christian household by a single mother. I was an only child and I was an only daughter, which led…

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