~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~Everything you love requires upkeep every day/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~?

i’m learning that i have the tendency to accept a bad feeling and let it take me over before i’ll fight back.

today, i read that the virus “wants us on our backs.” cnn anchor chris cuomo and i saw it somewhere else too, somewhere between hour three and four of the Eternal Scroll. for those who don’t have it and won’t get it, it will create the energetic equivalent of putting us on our backs. cuomo said, of the virus, he learned that it’s incredibly important to move as much as you can, to breath, to sit up, to switch positions, even though the virus renders all of those things incredibly difficult.

i think that same goes for the rest of us too. we psychically have this virus right now, and we have to fight against it. for me that fighting looks like: getting up even when i don’t want to, finding new ways to physically move, CREATING ANYTHING I CAN WHENEVER AND HOWEVER HUMANLY POSSIBLE, writing down ideas and making plans, finding novelty in routine, writing, learning, and forgiving myself for what i can’t do right now, over and over again.

I am seeing opportunities to learn how to prioritize art and to re-prioritize action over daydreaming ~~~~~~~

I am worth the work it takes to feel better

this has simplified the connection between my feelings and my actions, for me. if i do nothing, i feel bad. if i feel bad, and i simply go outside, i feel better. this very simple solution to a problem wouldn’t have registered in me before. i usually live in a haze of responsibilities, analysis, anxiety, self soothing, scheduling, prioritizing, managing, surviving. it’s hard for me to tell which parts of my life are effecting me in which ways. this has been clarifying that, creating a straight line between cause and effect. i like that part of it.


THINK OF YOUR BODY as a very exciting machine. It’s very exciting because it ~Does Everything~. It’s cool that you have such an exciting machine.

There’s a built in feature in your machine that alerts you when you’re using it wrong and the feature is: When you use it wrong you feel Bad.

Example 1:

When you lie in bed all day and get lost in your phone, the feature kicks in and you feel bad. That’s because you’re using your machine wrong.

Example 2:

When you eat garbage food and drink too much alcohol you feel bad because again – you are using it wrong.

Your machine is programmed for more!

Be the guy that uses it right!

(And no, this thought hasn’t gotten me off my phone or out of my bed yet, but hey it’s a good thought to start with.)