It’s wild how easy it’s been and how free I’ve felt. I experienced all the terrible feelings one can feel during the relationship, over and over and over again, from the beginning up until the end; now I feel relief. He used to hate allowing me to taking space when I was upset, which I have now identified as the behavior of an abuser. He’d say, “If I give you space, you’ll decide you don’t want to be with me.” I know now that he was right and that I would have been to leave, too. Though I tried to leave all the time. The first time I tried to leave he got on a plane and flew home and was at my door as soon as I woke up from my anger-nap. I thought it was romantic then, I don’t now. I thought him chasing my car down the street in bare feet was romantic, too. I don’t now. He’s not worth the time it would take to write it all dow. He’s barely a person. I’m ashamed of being associated with him. It’s embarrassing.

Everyone who’s been close to him identifies as a victim. He has no idea how to be alive. It’s actively pathetic.